selfed 06 - malleable boundaries

I experienced a redirecting rejection recently (ayyy alliteration game strong) that made me realize that having boundaries upheld is as challenging as upholding them. In therapy this past week, I learned that I have a magnetism for not only a certain type of people, but also situations in my life that extend beyond relationships to being more about my boundaries not being firm and fixed. Adapting my four values for connection enables people and situations to slip through the cracks so to speak, only to later warrant my own immediate poor reaction to the person or situation that shouldn't have been there in the first place.
As I processed the redirection caused by the rejection, I recognized that a boundary of mine wasn't upheld in the interactions that should've let me know to shift the dynamic in the first place.
Creating and upholding boundaries is a challenging process, but well worth it. While it seems like we limit the quantity of connections we can have, it exponentially increases the value of QUALITY connections we have along with quality opportunities that align with who we are. Knowing your boundaries and having them be firm serves as a warning to others for dealbreakers. Having boundaries does NOT make you selfish, so please don't let that be what holds you back from having them for yourself!

Recorded 04-20-2021