Selfed 49: Proving i deserve to be here

Each year I get really weird around my birthday and I finally understand where that comes from. Over the past few years I've been deepening my understanding and it does stem from the major role my grandmother played in my being here today. Her funeral was on my 13th birthday and there's a story of her role that nobody wants to really tell me all the details of so I'm left with this burning feeling that while I may not have been planned, I was also not wanted. As an adult, obviously things changed, but my brain can't unsee that situation and it certainly impacts the way I navigate the world. But don't worry ya'll, I know I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.