Selfed 40 - The Essence of connection is intentionality

Death is a weird thing. It's an agreement we make with life when we enter this thang, but the reality of it doesn't usually hit until it happens around you. Add a couple relationship transition texts to the mix and you got a recipe for self-reflection right there. What I've come to realize is that relationships I myself don't initiate don't stick. Intentionality is the glue, the essence of connection. The force that drives it toward the relationship or opportunity chosen is the masculine energy of pursuit and initiation. In an effort to play cool, I come off as passive in both relationships and my career. I blame my childhood narrative about my relationship with my mother. I made myself so available and attuned to her needs when she needed me, that I made meeting HER needs look like me meeting MY needs. The indirectness and passivity have set me up to be real successful doing that for donations, but doing it for love and connection just doesn't work.