Selfed 45: Apathy is the symptom of hatred

Lately I’ve really been challenging a lot of my resistances to life circumstances. I have been challenging how being involved with sex positivity has served me, and I’m realizing that much of what it’s about just doesn’t align with my core values. I think sex positivity perpetuates indifference masked as acceptance. I think it gives the illusion of a world void of realistic outcomes for unrealistic and unsustainable long-term behaviors. In this episode, I talk about my view on pop culture and how I’m maturing into myself as so many social media priorities conflict with real life priorities. I’ve had some conversations about misogyny and misandry and I was directed to a post where the comments were just blaming men, and there was nothing more to it. My argument for how women believe men show hate toward women is that when anyone hates something, they avoid it. If you don’t like meat, you don’t eat it. Don’t like blue, you don’t buy it. Don’t like women? Don’t talk to em. Logically this makes sense.

Women hating men doesn’t look like avoidance, in fact it’s engagement AND manipulation. When women hate men, they’ll still go on the date, take the ride, drink his alcohol, eat his food, ride his motorcycle, even have consensual sex with him, and maybe even be in a relationship with him and abuse him over time. This happens and women sit idly by, which means there’s no accountability or responsibility among each other. There’s no real time consequence for that long-term psychological abuse of men. And arguably, men will tolerate it because they get their nature nurtured, which looks like having someone to provide for, whether or not that person is healthily receiving or toxically taking.

With men, and Jordan Peterson said this, there is a real time threat of not only violence from OTHER men, but loss of respect of them as well. The hatred of men from women generates apathy toward women and I’d argue has a secondary impact of making men afraid of men as well, enabling the devaluing of a man’s code of honor to shut down the expression of harm or danger from another man. A man without purpose, without a code, without accountability is a lost man. We need other men to uphold us to these standards and whether we like it or not, we respect and honor the code AS MEN. What’s womens’ code? I was accused of sexual assault by a woman I never came within 1,000 miles of and not one person approached her about her psychological abuse. I got all this empathy from women who knew about it, but no one even told me what was going on until I took action to get someone in this space who loved/respected me enough to at least give me that. I dislike this person for what they did, and you know what I do, I’m not engaging to damage her reputation or manipulate her. I’m leaving her alone.

I love women, and I know men love women as well. And I also know women love men. Elie Wiesel says “The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. Indifference enables hate”. This campaign devaluing men is quite honestly making men not invest in what it has traditionally meant to be a man, honored, respected and deemed capable of in the moment consequence for any physical harm or unjust behavior toward women and what is just. This ain’t an argument of what’s worse between hating men or hating women. This is about apathy. Apathy from men is hatred expressed logically via avoidance. Apathy from women leads to apathy from men and is expressed emotionally through engagement.

Thanks for reading & listening if you chose to. I want to have more of these counter-culture conversations with people on here.

Live video recording of this episode