Selfed 31 - The Problem with partnering for potential

Partnering for potential presents problems. At its core, what's happening is that we outsource our healing when we do this. What we see in them is ACTUALLY what we hope to have validated within ourselves. By association, if that person meets your standards or requirements for potential, then you're good enough. When we do this, our identities as who we could be, exclusively in association with another person. These standards we hold someone else to may not be sustainable long-term, so when the other person fails to meet them, it validates that we don't meet our own standards. It validates a lack within ourselves. That statement, "don't ask others to do what you're unwilling to do yourself" really connects here because the request being made is that someone else 'do the work' for you (as described in https://selfedpodcast.com/podcast/selfed-04-the-work-of-discovery-exploration-and-expression '. That ain't fair to them or yourself.